Queer Wedding 101
Whether this is the first queer wedding you have every been to or one of many, we made this guide for you. These are variations of real questions we have been asked. Maybe you see a question you have been wondering about and are too scared to ask. We hope this answers the questions you may have but don't want to ask or helps you understand certain choices we have made specific to our relationship and our wedding.
Who proposed to who?
We are sure this will be a surprise to no one, but being two big planners and valuing communication, we talked A LOT about where we saw our relationship going and different milestones we wanted to achieve before we moved into different stages of our relationship. We knew long before we got engaged that we wanted to get married. We then planned our proposal together which included reading each other love letters and exchanging rings over a home cooked meal.
Who is the bride and who is the groom?
There is no groom at our wedding and we are each using a term that feels euphoric (authentic) for each of us. Rachel is using the term bride and Gina is using the term raya (rah-YAH), a hebrew word meaning soul mate.
Who wears the pants?
We both wear pants on a regular basis. For our wedding outfits Rachel will be wearing a one-piece jumpsuit and Gina will be wearing a two-piece suit and a blouse. We both found something that makes us feel great in our body and like we are dressing up to celebrate this moment. If you are asking about who is "in charge" we have a loving relationship based on egalitarian values and we each take charge of certain things that make our shared life easier to navigate.
How will you walk down the aisle?
Our immediate family will walk down the aisle first and then take seats in the front row. As per Jewish tradition we will then each walk down the aisle with our parents. Gina will walk with her dad Charles, and Rachel will walk with her parents Ron and Elizabeth.
What if I don't believe in gay marriage?
If you are invited that means that you are someone that we care deeply about and value our relationship with. If it is aligned with your values, we would love to mark this moment in our lives with you. If attending our wedding will move you to do anything other than celebrate our love, please don't come.